Job Hunt – Day 5
Its now been five days in the last nine years that I’ve not been working. As it is, when I have two days off in a row I’m eagerly awaiting work Monday. I don’t enjoy waking up Monday morning because I’d rather sleep in, but I do need to have something to do.
As of right now, I’ve put in at least 30 applications. Comcast, Verizon, Wal-Greens, Rite-Aid, Lowe’s, Home Depot, Starbucks, Radio Shack… just to name a few. I’ve taken so many of those online “Morality” tests that they’re beginning to feel like trick questions:
“I like to see other people get ahead in the workplace.” directly followed by “I enjoy seeing others succeed in the workplace.” Whats the difference? Here I suppose the difference is that people are advancing their careers before me vs doing good work — but after 80 of these types of questions on each test and having taken so many already, deciding if I “Strongly Agree”, “Agree”, am “Neutral”, “Disagree”, or “Strongly Disagree” any sane person would start to feel exhausted.
Okay, so what about: “I feel hurt when I receive criticisms of my performance.” and “I am hurt by criticisms of my performance.”
This one I see as just plain the same question. Are they trying to trick me for consistencies?! Who on earth writes these exams anyway? “I feel hurt when I receive criticism”. Well, I’m neutral — it completely depends on how the criticism is delivered, and what its about. If I have a fantastic idea to save the company money and am shut down by a manager who doesn’t have the capacity to grasp change then I’m hurt by the lack of confidence and by the managers lack of desire to spend time with the idea. Although, honestly, I think that feeling came more when my parents refused to acknowledge the possibility that I had some good ideas. But “I am hurt by…”, well, thats the exact same question, right? I mean, nobody is ACTUALLY physically hurt by criticism, it just FEELS painful in the form of disappointment.
I think the best thing I’ve seen so far on an application, however, is on Starbucks. On one of the first pages it indicates that there can be no tattoos or piercings (I applied anyway, there are so many open positions in this area that its worth the shot — plus, at least I’ll get more interview experience) and asks if I have a problem with that. I put “Yes” (okay, so I won’t get the interview experience). After I fill out the million morality questions and starting to hear Arlo Guthrie discussing being to immoral for the army for being a litter bug in my head, I get an email response from them and in the middle of the email it reads:
“Starbucks is an equal opportunity employer committed to hiring a diverse work team.”
Well, maybe I still have a small chance.