When I Grow Up…

When I was a kid I had two dreams of what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to be a writer, and I wanted to be a truck driver. To be honest, I still would like to be both of those things. This blog will at least help satisfy the one craving.

Like everybody else I’ve gone through many different ideas of the kinds of things that I’d like to do for a living. In elementary school it was a Librarian. I loved to read. Fiction of all sorts. In Junior High and High School I wanted to be an English Teacher.

I worked hard in Honors English 9, 10, and 11. Then my Honors English 11 teacher and I didn’t really get a long well. Thats not really wording it right, to be honest we just had some disagreements about some books. I don’t even recall what the book was (and I really wish I did, because now that I’m older I would like to re-read it and see if I can catch what I must have been missing before), but there was a quiz that I failed. The very first question asked us what we thought the reason was behind the writer deciding to have the family all sit around and play Monopoly.

Being a writer myself, I know that a lot of times when writers have stories and the little parts blend together or there are “hidden meanings” that can be found within things they often are not put into the story with a master plan behind it. I answered with either he looked around and saw his kids playing Monopoly, possibly had fond childhood memories of playing Monopoly, or something like that.

I got it wrong.

I’m not one to ever challenge authority, or a teacher; however, this time I did. I didn’t see the connection he was trying to draw and the complicated way he was trying to twist the book. I also felt that the question was one that couldn’t possibly be wrong because it was worded “What do you think…” As long as I thought it, I should have got it right.

I didn’t make it into Honors English 12. I asked the teacher why not. He said he didn’t feel I was smart enough for the class. Talk about a blow to the self-esteem. Thank you Mr. Wood. Ever since then I have not been able to read a new fiction book. I just can’t do it. Its been over 10 years, and I have started many books, but I get bored and have to put it down. I can read my favorites from my childhood still, so you’ll see me occasionally reading Watership Down, 1984, and The Jurassic Park Series.

Since then I’ve decided to go into Computer Science. That desire wasn’t strong, but it was something I knew I could do. I’ve had a computer practically since the day I was born, and without any formal training have been able to design websites and could fix and edit JavaScript code [without ever having worked with it before]. When I was 18, I had a boyfriend who liked to believe he was more intelligent than I was. He told me that I wasn’t “intelligent enough” to go into Computer Science.

He took IQ test to prove to his friends he was more intelligent than they were. I sat and watched for about five minutes and decided to take the test for myself since my computer was right next to his.

We were taking the test online at the International High IQ Societys website. I finished a few minutes before he did. Can I just say that he was less than thrilled at the results? This was nearly 9 years ago, but I can still remember the look on his face when his test was scored at 128, and mine was scored at 136.  It didn’t even hurt my feelings when he said it must have been some sort of fluke.

Since I was only 18, I was incredibly unsure of myself. I didn’t have the ability to obtain Financial Aid to go to school anyway because my dad didn’t understand that until you’re 25 you need to show your parents income and he wouldn’t provide me his tax returns because he “didn’t owe me an education”.  With that, I had to put any dreams of schooling aside until I was 25, or pay for it myself.

When I was able to go back to school again, I had discovered a natural knack for counseling. I’m a great listener, and having done so much research on my own into why I am the way that I am, and why I think the way that I think I have considerable insight into others. I decided to work towards my AA and eventually go into Psychology.

Funding was a tad difficult. My grandparents help when they can. I managed to take a few quarters before my personal relationship became something of a nightmare. I will not discuss  it on this blog, but I became the woman everybody wants to slap for being so blind to the abuse she’s taking. School had to end, because I was the only breadwinner — and while I’d finally decided to leave him, I discovered that I was pregnant. He was the only person I knew who could help, and I unfortunately pulled him back.

Of all the things I wanted to be when I grew up, mother was not one of them. I had always planned on finding somebody with kids already so I didn’t have to deal with the baby stage. Think what you will of me, but I grew up with Guns, Knives, Trucks and mud. Babies freak me out.

Nonetheless, in 2007 Londyn Grace was born. I love her very much, and she is very smart, and incredibly intelligent — something I work hard to foster. My only regret with pushing her to do things on her own so much, is that she’s a touch stubborn and a little too independent now. She’s 3, but has the vocabulary skills of a 5 year old, knows her alphabet and colors, and could count to 10 when she was 2.

This whole time I’ve been trying to decide what to do when I grew up I’d been working at various call centers. As a Telemarketer, an Answering Service Operator, and about a month after Londyn was born I got hired at T-Mobile for my most recent position.

I take classes online whenever I can afford them, both in time and monetarily. As I’ve become more and more interested in learning Philosophy I’ve also become more and more interested in Law. Since taking that online IQ test I’ve been studying to take the LSAT just to see what score I can get. I wasn’t considering being a lawyer, I just love taking tests.

The more I thought about it, working in law fits me more than anything else I can think of. I recently took the Myers Brigs test and discovered that I am an INTP personality type. Incredibly rare, having the insight to his has helped me discover where my strengths are to build on them.

I’m a very eclectic person, and as I sit down filling out application after application for literally EVERY position I can find I realize there isn’t anything I can’t do, or anything I can’t learn how to do.


About Eternity

34. Employed. Taken. Social Media Guru. Mom. Writer. Internet. Learning. Law. Politics. Philosophy. Planes. Flight. Tattoos. Piercings. Psychology. Love. God. Technology. Piercings. Conservative. Ish.

Posted on December 14, 2010, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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