City Life is So Restricting… and I hate it.

Talk to me for awhile, and its no surprise at all that I despise living in the city. I grew up in the country, and have a deep longing to get back to who I am at the root of myself. 

I like being around people sometimes, but there are just too damn many people around here. 

I grew up on roughly two and a half acres of land with a quaint 4-bedroom manufactured home. It was nice because we had neighbors that were near and dear to us, but if we wanted our space and privacy – we had that, too. 

If I wanted to pull out my BB gun and go target shooting in the yard, that was no problem at all. It was easy to know who could possibly be behind your target when the lot behind you is nothing but acres and acres of grass or corn. If dad was feeling goofy and wanted to turn his stereo up really loud, we could do that, too. And not a single cop would show up for a noise complaint. In the city, sometimes it seems as if the cops are called when somebody sneezes too loudly. 

If we wanted to grow our own food, we could dig up the earth and make a feeble attempt at growing corn. Sure, it’s only like 3 inches long, but it still tasted great! 

When I was 10 I got a crossbow for Christmas. Nothing too crazy, but man did it feel awesome to have gotten something so cool! When I was 12 or so I got a re-curve bow from my mothers boyfriend. There was nothing like setting up the foam deer, strapping on the arm guard and discovering I had something that felt like a natural talent for sailing an arrow straight through its little foam heart. 

I grew up in Everson, Washington. One point three square miles [832 acres] with 2,400 people, and surrounded by vast acres of farmland with even less people, and not a single stop-light to be found. You could drive the 4 miles to the grocery store pretty quick and only have to deal with 3 stop signs. 

But now I live in Everett. Fourty-Eight square miles  [31,033 acres] and packed with 104,000 people. Its a little congested up in here. There are cars everywhere. People everywhere. Stores everywhere.

Today I went to Cabela’s for the first time. A magickal store filled with all sorts of things that I wish I could have has hobbies either again, or for the first time. I would love to teach my daughter how to use a bow, but the only way to do that is to have a TON of land where she can safely miss, and we just don’t have that here. Hell, I don’t need television. I’d rather be outside with my own bow or rifle plinkin away at empty soda cans and getting my revenge for any and all papercuts I’ve sustained over the years [you’ve had a papercut, you know that paper sometimes deserves to die!].

There are other things I would love to do with my life, that I feel are more where I’m meant to be than I currently am. Why am I paying $1-$1.50 for onions or green peppers, when a few hours of labor and love and I could grow and freeze my own to last all year? Same goes for all the fresh foods I commonly eat… Asparagus, Carrots, Spinach, Basil, Raspberries and Strawberries. . . not to mention, I’d probably eat more Beets, Green Beans, and Peas if I grew them myself. 

There are many other aspects to city life that are unappealing. If I let myself dwell on it too long, I begin to loathe myself and the trade-offs I’ve made for who I should be, and what I am. 



Stop Living the Lie

If our job and purpose on this planet is to help create the utopia of world peace, and there are people in the world who will never abide to the concept, and if sometimes to be a good leader you need to tell people they are wrong then is a good leader somebody who can give a direction of murder to accomplish the ultimate goal?

When does destruction save us from destruction? When does death save us from death? When does theft save us from thieves?  

When will we all stop wasting our time, our lives, our friends lives, and our families lives? When will we stop wasting the lives of our children?

When will we realize that every single one of our parents and their parents, and their parents have lied to us for generations and generations?

When will we all stop and realize it is up to us to both live and teach the truth? For the sake of the world, only we can stop the lies by deciding to stop living the lie ourselves.


Rant: Cherry Halves (Artificially Colored)

We’ve all done it, numerous times. Opened that can of fruit cocktail, poured it out and hungrily searched for that juicy succulent cherry… only to to discover (yet again), that you have instead put a piece of wax in your mouth. It was NOT a cherry. It was some fake monstrousity that can barely be called food.

And yet, on every can of fruit cocktail those enticing cherries call out to you. And every now and again you dig for one in your great aunts fruit salad thinking they’ve smartened up.

And every time you’re wrong.

Why Is Christian Hypocrisy So Common?

hypocrite  [hip-uh-krit] noun

1. a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, especially a person whose actions belie stated beliefs. [Definition from]
Recently I’ve been exposed to my least favorite kind of person. The person that comes into your life, unwanted, and unannounced to demand that you follow their rules of behavior. Now, if I was doing something wrong that violated their Constitutional Rights, then by all means – educate me. Offending people in person is not my goal; however, offending somebody online is my priortity.
If I offend you online that means that I am, hopefully, stretching your existence.
My youth pastor, Mark Irving, once taught me a neat little catch phrase:
“Your walk talks and your talk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks.”
Its just an overly wordy and catchy way to say “Actions Speak Louder Than Words”.

You want to judge me, look into your life first. Because I will find the self denial you’ve hidden from the world.

****I actually wrote this in 2012****

I Want it All, and I Want it on a Silver Platter. NOW!

Democrats want to give away free healthcare, free food, and pay you to not work. Who doesn’t like the sound of that? Anybody with an IQ above 90 should understand.

Then they question why we have a deficit, and blame it in the people who do actually work. But if nobody is working to pay the bills, deficit happens.
I am going to make that a bumper sticker. “Deficit Happens”. Yup. Gonna put it right on my car.

How is this whole concept even remotely sound logic?

You pay taxes, but you don’t pay enough. Work, slave! Work! GIVE ME YOUR MONEY so I can complain that its not enough for me to live on.

I probably shouldn’t try to fall asleep with C-Span on… or perhaps more of you should.

I miss writing to you all.

There has been so much crazy going on in my life, that I haven’t had time to write. Not that I could put the crazy in my life down on paper in a linear format anyway.

Man alive. My writing indicates I may have spent too much time watching ‘The Big Bang Theory’ in the last few days.

I honestly haven’t really gotten out of bed a whole lot in the last few weeks and have just surfed the net, and watched crap TV. I don’t get a lot of chances to do that in life, so while I feel ultimately lazy doing it, I’ll be back to hardworking mom in no time.

I pick up Londyn tomorrow from Everson. Woot!


When I was younger I wanted to be a truck driver (like my daddy) and a writer. I wanted to be a writer because I have always had a talent for the written word. Sadly, in my adult career I do not have the time to sit down and write like I should. It isn’t nearly as easy to be a writer now as it would have been if I had started right out of high school. 

I did not, however, at any point see myself stuck in the career I have been stuck in since I graduated high school. Call center work isn’t my calling. I know that, and yet that is what I continue to do, and I won’t lie. I have reached my fill of it. If I had money to seek a degree, I would do so — although, I am of the avid belief that a degree is

no substitute for intelligence and general know-how and more importantly: drive.

Through the years I have wanted to be a High School English Teacher, obtaining a rather large scholarship to a University in Missouri I was unable to garner the student aid needed to fund the rest of tuition because my father refused to believe that supplying me with his tax information to get Federal Funding didn’t mean that he had to pay for tuition. If I had obtained Federal Funding back then, I’d have been able to finish school with a 4 year degree with $0 student loans – it was that big of a scholarship. 

While working in a telemarketing center I dreamed of multiple career options. Computer Science/Database Administrator would have been great — I’m not good with math, but I speak code in ways I can’t comprehend. I just understand it. I love math, but I don’t understand it. I have many books and a strong desire to learn it, but to this day I find college classes too fast paced for me to really dig in and GET it at the level I would like to. 

Psychology is something I also have a really great grasp on. But I’m too much of an introvert with a bit of social anxiety that meant I was not interested in any sort of lab work. 

Philosophy. I LOVE philosophy. I live to learn how to think, and how to ask and attempt to answer the great mysteries of life. 

Law. I wasn’t intending on settling on this. But I’ve taken law classes and Criminal Justice classes as electives and not only were they the easiest classes (although occasionally the most difficult to stay awake in – but I worked graves then went to school and was pregnant at the time. I had no choice but to fall asleep in class a few times. My body wouldn’t let me do anything but). I absolutely love the law. I don’t always like obeying it, but truthfully, we all break laws from time to time. My deepest wish is to get my undergraduate degree in Business/Philosophy then my Juris Doctorate. I would then really like a Doctorate in Philosophy. But I’ve always wanted an excuse to be called Dr Moreau. 

This call center stuff has exhausted my excitement. I’m 30 and bored with what I do. I love helping people. I love my co-workers more than anything else. I love the fact that I have the ability to be used and seen in many ways throughout the company. But when it is time for me to go back to my actual job function, I can tell I am going to deeply dislike it. I have had a taste of being off the phones and working in a much bigger capacity and it was good. I hate to limit myself. 

I did it!

Regal Air had a link to a discounted Introductory Flight on Amazon Local. 

I bought it! I’m so excited for my first flight…. I’ve been dreaming up ways to do this for ages!

Now, due to this awful breakup I need to keep on with my life goals. 

If you want to help with the first half of my flying, please donate to:

Dear North Korea

You can practice and pretend like you are smart enough to create materials that will obliterate the United States. We’ll let you play the game because in the playground of life, you’re in the sandbox barely able to dig a hole while we’re the big kids hogging the tether ball and monkey bars. 

We don’t see you. We know you’re there, but for the most part we just ignore your presence because it doesn’t effect us. But the moment you throw a rock at us, we will stomp your sand castle so fast.

The United States: Total Area 3,794,101 sq mi 

North Korea: Total Area: 46,528 sq mi 

It would take seconds to squash you like a bug.


Dear Mr Romney and President Obama

I just got an email from Mitt that reads:

“We just can’t afford four more years like the last four years.”

You know what, he is right. And do you know how I know that neither of you are REALLY that concerned about the economy, the pocketbook and balances of the poor?

Because of the countless emails begging me, and the rest of us for money.

I am a broke single mother. I cannot afford to give either of you MILLIONAIRES A DIME.

But I’m willing to accept donations to my 2056 presidential campaign whenever you’re ready.


Presidential Candidate, 2056

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